Politics

I am a Libertarian and have been since 1989. I did not become one when Ron Paul announced his candidacy in 2007. I am not a Democrat. I am not a Republican. I am not "unaffiliated." Most of what you hear about Libertarians is just wrong. Do all Democrats want to institute socialism? Do all Republicans want to institute racial segregation? I made this "Demotivator" poster parody to try to illustrate my point.

The single most important work I have ever read in my life on politics is a work by Robert Altmeyer. No Republican could ever have the courage to read it cover to cover and not die of embarassment or dismiss it by saying that the scientific method itself it is completely invalid. It can be deeply cutting if you're a Republican and unprepared for thinking about how and why you were assigned, and did not choose, that belief system.

You Might Be A Liberal Democrat if...

... you think people living in a crack house would put a trigger lock on a stolen gun.
... you believe that the AIDS virus was spread by a lack of government funding.
... you’ve ever held a lighted candle outdoors.
... you’ve ever referred to the “root cause” of something.
... you have ever thought or said that “there ought to be law against” something.
... you think that Hollywood helps society “grow” by producing films like “Brokeback Mountain,” but that violent films (and music) couldn’t possibly be harming the nation’s youth.
... you cite the 1st Amendment’s “separation of church and state” but support speech codes and hate-crime laws.
... you think “separation of church and state” appears in the Constitution.
... you manage to convince yourself that “the right of the people” in the 2nd Amendment means something different than the individual rights cited in the other amendments in the Bill of Rights.
... you think that private citizens should be disarmed, but you have a bodyguard that carries a gun.
... you feel that the race, religion, or sexual taste of the victim of a crime makes a difference in how it should be prosecuted.
... you strongly believe in sexual harassment law and that no woman would ever lie about such matters, unless the man charged is a liberal Democrat.
... you think that the economy is a zero-sum game.
... you think Communism has always failed because the “right people weren’t in charge.”
... you think that welfare has failed because we haven’t spent enough money on it yet.
... you believe an animal has more rights than an unborn child.
... you think cutting taxes is nothing but a risky scheme.
... you love the black race in theory but have nothing to do with black people in reality.
... you think that compassion is defined by the number of people who are dependent on the government.
... you believe a white man (sorry, “European American”) should not benefit from the color of his skin, but EVERYONE ELSE should.
... you and your friends have all the right answers, and should anyone disagree, they are just dumb and “don’t get it.”
... you believe that whatever anyone else has, they must have obtained through unfair means and that you are deserving of it as much as the person who earned it.
... you believe that anything that you don’t understand is just stupid and probably “mean spirited.”
... you believe that the extreme training that the Navy SEALS or Army Green Berets must go through to prove their abilities is just another example of the male ego, “mean spiritedness,” and unnecessary violence, but you will always call on them to do your dirty work.
... you are a vegetarian, but wear leather, have a leather backpack, and your Lexus has a leather interior.
... you think greed is bad and you state so to your BMW dealer as you head off to your condo in the mountains for a weekend of skiing.
... you always think the government should “do something.”
... your fear and ignorance of any subject, and most likely firearms and politics, leads your every decision.
... you believe that the press would never lie to you, because they could never get away with it because someone would call them on it, but if someone says that the press is lying, they get called a “right-wing nut.”
... you believe religion is something for “right-wing nuts,” unless it’s Islam, which is nonviolent and misunderstood (despite the Koran exhorting it’s adherents to war against, and kill, nonbelievers. Koran 2:191, 5:51, 8:39, 9:14, 9:23, 9:73, 9:122, 47:3, 47:4...)
... you think that concealed weapons permits are for militia nuts.
... you really believe that guns kill more children than bicycle accidents, or (not and) buckets of water, or (not and) falls. (Hey HCI, the accidental shooting death of an 18 year old gang member who didn’t intend to get shot by police while holding up a bank is not “the accidental shooting of a child.” Kids are kids. Adults are adults.)
... you believe anything that must be learned must be learned in a college.
... you believe that as a manager you can manage anything, even if you have absolutely no technical knowledge of the subject at hand.
... you use ad hominem attacks when you are losing a debate or argument.
... you term anyone who disagrees with you a “nazi” or a “fascist.”
... you think that men have no business drafting abortion laws, but that people who have never held a gun are the best ones to write firearms legislation.
... you’ve ever used the phrases “risky tax cut,” “mean-spirited,” “for the children,” (other than sarcastically), “afford a tax cut,” “mean-spirited,” “move on,” “mean-spirited,” “gun violence,” “mean-spirited,” “gun culture,” “mean-spirited,” “high-capacity ammo clip,” “assault weapon,” “mean-spirited,” “mean-spirited,” “mean-spirited,” “it takes a village,” “a woman’s right to choose,” “mean-spirited,” “sensible/responsible/common-sense gun control,” or “power structure.”
... you’re so open-minded that your brains fell out.
... you believe that prior to 1968 there were much stricter gun control laws and no one had access to firearms.
... you believe that having a society where only the government has guns is a society where everyone is safe.
... you believe that you think that you can talk a criminal out of harming you.
... you believe that crime is just a result of poverty.
... you believe that the government can better educate children than parents.
... you move into your new house in the hills and then call for a building moratorium in the area.
... you think Brokaw, Jennings, and Rather, the New York Times, and Newsweek are all unbiased, but that people who get their news from the Internet are “brainwashed.”
... you think that nuclear power is more polluting than coal-fired plants.
... you actually think that there are people who own (or actually want to own) fully automatic AK-47’s for “hunting purposes.”
... you cheer high oil prices (which you can afford) because it will make more peons ride bicycles.
... you favor benefits for illegals and want to keep them here as you save money on gardening and house-keeping expenses.
... you think the forest should be off limits to loggers, hunters, and recreational use for all but back-packers. But you do like the look of wood in your home.
... you’ve ever tried to protect the ozone layer.
... you have a bumper sticker that says “You Can’t Hug with Nuclear Arms.”
... you believe diversity represents the answer to everything.
... you pay a 185 percent markup for organically grown food.
... you want more funding for AIDS research but less for cancer research.
... you abhor censorship unless it’s censoring religion or Conservatism.
... you have an “I’m Straight But Not Narrow” button.
... you think Jesse Jackson is a good spokesman for the black community.
... you cry, “You can’t legislate morality,” but defend the Roe v. Wade decision and advocate for gay marriage in order to legislate your morality.
... you think the phrase “a house divided against itself cannot stand” was first uttered by Abraham Lincoln. (Think about it.)
... you think piercing your body parts makes you more of an individual.
... you think the biggest problem confronting Los Angeles is police brutality.
... you think that consenting adults can engage freely in every activity except Capitalism.
... you think we never gave peace a chance.
... you had to be told that “Manhattan,” “menopause” and “boycott” were not sexist words.
... you begin sentences with the words “I feel.”
... you think that the words “to promote the general welfare” in the Constitution mean to promote welfare generally.
... you have ever wondered out loud, “Why can’t we all just get along?”
... you think the New York Times prints all the news that’s fit to print.
... you reach the limits of your talent and then complain that you ran into a glass ceiling.
... you attribute the rising illegitimacy rate, crime rate or problems in the inner city to Ronald Reagan.
... you’ve ever held up a grocery store line trying to pick between plastic, which isn’t biodegradable, or paper, which cuts down innocent trees.
... you believe in defining all firearms as “assault weapons” in order to end crime (what do you mean punish the criminals?)
... you believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than nuclear or biological weapons in the hands of the Chinese. Or the Koreans. Or India. Or Pakistan (that says "law abiding").
... you believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
... you believe there was no art before federal funding.
... you believe that the NRA is bad, because they stand up for certain parts of the Constitution, but that the ACLU is good, because they stand up for certain parts of the Constitution.
... you believe that dialing 911 is the best defense against someone bent on raping or murdering you.
... you believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas aren’t.
... you believe conservatives and libertarians are racists but that black people couldn’t make it without your help.
... you claim that every ballot wasn’t counted in Florida but you wanted the US Census Bureau to approximate rather than count citizens.
If you can relate to any of the above you are a victim. You can’t help it. It’s not your fault. Liberalism is something that you’re born with, and you may be eligible for a special grant from Health and Human Services.

... you complain about the “liberal media” on any of the numerous conservative political radio talk shows.
... you have a bumper sticker that says “Insured by Smith and Wesson.”
... you believe the Constitution states that Christianity is our official religion.
... you think that because Al Gore's mansion uses more electricity than Bush's ranch in Crawford, then NASA's satellite photos of shrinking polar ice are an invention of Liberal scientists.
... you fervently speak about the evils of Marijuana at social gatherings with a vodka straight in hand. You insist it's a gateway drug that's killed people when research has shown time and time again it's neither, and the "Scientists" must all be Liberals and the research is worthless.
... you think that the Constitution is a permission slip listing only those things that we are allowed to do (i.e. Abortion isn't in there, so you can't do it, never mind that a "right to a fair trial" isn't, either).
... you have never read the 9th and 10th Amendments yet use the phrase "States' rights" because Rush said it.
... you believe that elected officials should have no immunity to laws that you yourself must abide by. Except when they're Republicans, because they break the law for the safety of our nation.
... you only have a vague clue about what Richard Nixon did, but it doesn't matter, becuase "Nine eleven changed everything."
... you believe that our intervention to stop genocide in Kosovo, wherein there were NO (ZERO) U.S. troop deaths, was "nation building" and an all-around 100% bad thing to do.
... you think the words feminist and lesbian are synonyms.
... you fit any of Jeff Foxworthy’s “You might be a redneck if...”
... you claim to value the First Amendment but abhor a free press (they give away our seek-rits to the turrists!). And you were not aware that Fox News gave away troop positions.
... you were angry that the New York Times revealed Bush's "secret" anti-money laundering operation to thwart terrorists, and are unaware that he made reference to it in speeches and that the details of it were published on the SEC's, Federal Reserve's, OFAC's, the NASD's and the Treasury's web sites.
... you believe every man, woman, and child should be armed to the teeth with AK-47’s, hand grenades, handguns, and any other weapon imaginable. Wait, that should read "You might be a Liberal if you actually think that Conservatives believe..."
... you believe in the importance of individual responsibility, and do not wish for the government to tell you how to live. You just want the government to tell everyone else how to live, and especially how to conduct themselves in the bedroom.
... you obsessively impose your own morality upon others. Hmmm.. A common denominator...
... you have faith in economic policies such as “trickle down economics.” Also, you've never studied economics in your life.
... you think that Socialism has never worked. Also, you have never heard of "Norway."
... you think that the nude statues at Justice should be wearing togas at the least. Soliciting gay sex in a men's room or enticing minors online is fine, though.
... the hostess at the Sizzler knows you by name.
... you think that people who say "lost the popular vote" are sore loser lying Liberals, and that it's not possible to lose the popular vote but still be President. Even though it has happened four times.
... you have a button that says “I’m not prejudiced, I hate everyone.”
... your get your opinions from Bill O, or Sean, or Rush, or Michael who tell you things without any sources and write books without footnotes.
... you believe that there should be less government intrusion in our lives, but you want to amend the Constitution to make flag burning illegal, to ban abortion, to outlaw homosexual sodomy, to make gay marriage illegal, to ban stem cell research, and to declare English as the official language of the nation.
... you believe that if parents and teachers don’t mention sex to a child until s/he is 16, then s/he won’t even know it exists until then.
... you think it might be a good idea to don rubber gloves before shaking hands with a homosexual. On the other hand, you might also be a homosexual.
... you believe so strongly in the importance of equality that you are against giving certain groups of people special benefits. Unless it's sponsoring laws to protect police officers or "the unborn."
... you think “proletariat” is a type of cheese.
... you’ve named your kids “Deduction one” and “Deduction two.”
... you’ve tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were just allowed to keep more of their minimum wage.
... you’ve ever referred to someone as “my (insert racial or ethnic minority here) friend.”
... you’ve ever tried to argue that Jesus was a pro-war Capitalist.
... you’re a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty. Also, murders in Iraq were "just part of war," and you have no idea what the Mai Lai Massacre was or what it means.
... you think Huey Newton is a cookie.
... the only union you support is the Baseball Players, because heck, they’re richer than you.
... you see no contradiction in a party filled with pedophiles claiming the mantle of "family values."
... you once broke loose at a party and removed your neck tie.
... you’ve ever referred to the moral fiber of something.
... you understand the goodness of cultural diversity, but also realize the harm of mass illegal immigration. But you're not willing to pay contractors $55/hr to work on your house, you'd prefer $15/hr day laborers, no questions asked. You also don't want to pay $30 for a carton of orange juice, and can't see how that's related.
... you’ve ever uttered the phrase, “Why don’t we just bomb the sons of bitches,” and you really do believe in your heart that it really is just that simple.
... you’ve ever said, “I can’t wait to get into business school.”
... you answer to “The Man.”
... you use any of these terms to describe your wife: old ball and chain, little woman, old lady, tax deduction... (think hard about that last one)
... you’ve ever yelled, “Hey hippie, get a haircut.”
... you think Birkenstock was that radical rock concert in 1969.
... you scream "Aid and comfort! Aid and comfort!" when a Democratic politician visits Syria but say nothing about the Republican politicians visiting Syria at the same exact time.
... you’ve ever said “Clean air? Looks clean to me.”
... you spent MLK Day reading “The Bell Curve.”
... you’ve ever called education a luxury.
... you realize that although taxation is necessary, you are over-taxed. You also think that whenever tax cuts happen, they apply mostly to you.
... you wonder if donations to the Pentagon are tax-deductable.
... you came of age in the ‘60s and don’t remember Bob Dylan.
... you ever based an argument on the phrase, “Well, tradition dictates....”
... you’ve ever called the National Endowment for the Arts a bunch of pornographers.
... you see no contradiction in a closeted homosexual legislator or pastor sponsoring anti-gay legislation or preaching anti-gay sermons.
... you ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch “lives in a trash can because he is lazy and doesn’t want to contribute to society.”
... you’ve ever urged someone to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, when they don’t even have shoes.

New items I've seen

Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.
Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing UN resolutions against Iraq.
A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multinational corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.
Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.
The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.
A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our longtime allies, then demand their cooperation and money.
Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.
HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.
Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense.
A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.
The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.
Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness, and you need our prayers for your recovery.
You support states' rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have the right to adopt.
What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

It was once said that to Liberals, morality is subjective, and reality is objective. To Conservatives, morality is objective, and reality is subjective.

Phil Moskowitz at Fark put it best:
"It's like all of america in the last couple generations has been completely infantilized and beaten with an idiot stick. You don't know how the economy operates, you don't know what rational socio-economic policy is, you can't see obvious exploitation when it's smacked into your face. You're doltish idealogues that spew sentences created for you by someone way smarter then you, with an agenda that's counter to your well being."

I once kept a list of what this administration had done complete with links so that I could remember and argue cogently. I had to stop in 2006. It just got to be too much. Keeping up with trying to provide the background information for everything this administration does is daunting.

The Bush administration has ruined the country, arguably irreparably, and if you're shaking your head, it only means you don't have the luxury, as I do, of reading federal laws, Executive Orders, and Supreme Court cases, which is actually part of my job. The political links can be found here.